Thursday, December 6, 2007

What Equals 100%?

From a strictly mathematical viewpoint, what Equals 100%?

What equals 100% in life?

Here's a little mathematical formula that might help answer these questions:

If : A B C D E F G H I J K L M N O P Q R S T U V W X Y Z

Is represented as : 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 22 23 24 25 26.

Then :

H-A-R-D-W-O- R- K = 8+1+18+4+23+ 15+18+11 = 98%

And

K-N-O-W-L-E- D-G-E = 11+14+15+23+ 12+5+4+7+ 5 = 96%

But

A-T-T-I-T-U- D-E = 1+20+20+9+20+ 21+4+5 = 100%

You hold my hand

Little girl and her father were crossing a bridge. The father was kind of scared so he asked his little daughter,'Sweetheart, please hold my hand so that you don't fall into the river.'The little girl said, 'No, Dad. You hold my hand.' 'What's the difference?' Asked the puzzled father.'There's a big difference,' replied the little girl. 'If I hold your hand and something happens to me, chances are that I may let your hand go.But if you hold my hand, I know for sure that no matter what happens,you will never let my hand go.'

The World Is Following You

One day you might see yourself walking alone on a new path.No one seems in sight. No one seems to have walked it earlier.Don't give up midway. You're on a right track.Go on. Reach your dreams.The reason why you do not see anyone is because,the world is following you.

I Am Growing

Sir Edmund Hillary was the first man to climb Mount Everest. On May 29, 1953 he scaled the highest mountain then known to man-29,000 feet straight up. He was knighted for his efforts. He even made American Express card commercials because of it! However, until we read his book, High Adventure, we don't understand that Hillary had to grow into this success. You see, in 1952 he attempted to climb Mount Everest, but failed. A few weeks later a group in England asked him to address its members. Hillary walked on stage to a thunderous applause. The audience was recognizing an attempt at greatness, but Edmund Hillary saw himself as a failure. He moved away from the microphone and walked to the edge of the platform. He made a fist and pointed at a picture of the mountain. He said in a loud voice, Mount Everest, you beat me the first time, but I'll beat you the next time because you've grown all you are going to grow... but I'm still growing!

Quotes...

"Every night, when I go to sleep, I die. Every morning, when I wake up, I am reborn." (Mahatma Gandhi)

"Be the change that you want to see in the world." (Gandhi)

"There they go. I must run and catch up with them, because I am their leader!" (Mahatma Gandhi)

"Nine-tenths of wisdom is being wise in time." (Theodore Roosevelt)

"Give me six hours to chop down a tree and I will spend the first four sharpening the axe." (Abraham Lincoln, 1809-65)

"The best thing about the future is that it comes one day at a time." (Abraham Lincoln, 1809-65)

"If you want a thing done well, do it yourself." (Bonaparte)

"Impossible is a word to be found only in the dictionary of fools." (Napoleon Bonaparte)

RUDYARD KIPLING

If you can keep your head when all about you
Are losing theirs and blaming it on you,
If you can trust yourself when all men doubt you,
But make allowance for their doubting too;
If you can wait and not be tired by waiting,
Or being lied about, don't deal in lies,
Or being hated, don't give way to hating,
And yet don't look too good, nor talk too wise:

If you can dream-and not make dreams your master;
If you can think-and not make thoughts your aim;
If you can meet with Triumph and Disaster
And treat those two imposters just the same;
If you can bear to hear the truth you've spoken
Twisted by knaves to make a trap for fools,
Or watch the things you gave your life to, broken,
And stoop and build 'em up with worn-out tools:

If you can make one heap of all your winnings
And risk it on one turn of pitch-and-toss,
And lose, and start again at your beginnings
And never breathe a word about your loss;
If you can force your heart and nerve and sinew
To serve your turn long after they are gone,
And so hold on when there is nothing in you
Except the Will which says to them: "Hold on!"

If you can talk with crowds and keep your virtue,
Or walk with Kings-nor lose the common touch,
If neither foes nor loving friends can hurt you,
If all men count with you, but none too much;
If you can fill the unforgiving minute
With sixty seconds' worth of distance run,
Yours is the Earth and everything that's in it,
And-which is more- why you'll be a Man !

I Woke up early today...

I woke up early today, excited over all I get to do before the clock strikes midnight. I have responsibilities to fulfill today. I am important.
My job is to choose what kind of day I am going to have.
Today I can complain because the weather is rainy or I can be thankful that the grass is getting watered for free.
Today I can feel sad that I don't have more money or I can be glad that my finances encourage me to plan my purchases wisely and guide me away from waste.
Today I can grumble about my health or I can rejoice that I am alive.
Today I can lament over all that my parents didn't give me when I was growing up or I can feel grateful that they allowed me to be born.
Today I can cry because roses have thorns or I can celebrate that thorns have roses.
Today I can mourn my lack of friends or I can excitedly embark upon a quest to discover new relationships.
Today I can whine because I have to go to work or I can shout for joy because I have a job to do.
Today I can complain because I have to go to school or eagerly open my mind and fill it with rich new tidbits of knowledge.
Today I can murmur dejectedly because I have to do housework or I can feel honored because the Lord has provided shelter for my mind, body and soul.
Today stretches ahead of me, waiting to be shaped. And here I am, the sculptor who gets to do the shaping.

Monday Morning Greetings :

Imagine there is a bank that credits your account each morning with Rs 86,400. It carries over no balance from day to day; allows you to keep no cash balance; every night deletes whatever part of the balance you failed to use during the day. What would you do with such an account Draw out every penny, of course!!! Every one of us has such a 'bank'. Its name is TIME. Every morning it credits you with 86,400 seconds. Every night it writes off as lost whatever of this you have failed to invest to good purpose. It carries over no balance. It allows no overdraft. Each day it opens a new account for you. Each night it burns the records of the day. If you fail to use the day's deposits, the loss is yours. There is no going back. There is no drawing against tomorrow. You must live in the present -on today's deposits. Invest it so as to get from it the utmost in health, happiness and success! The clock is running. Make the most of today!! And make it a great week ahead!!

Beauty of Math!

1 x 8 + 1 = 9
12 x 8 + 2 = 98
23 x 8 + 3 = 987
1234 x 8 + 4 = 9876
12345 x 8 + 5 = 98765
123456 x 8 + 6 = 987654
1234567 x 8 + 7 = 9876543
12345678 x 8 + 8 = 98765432
123456789 x 8 + 9 = 987654321

1 x 9 + 2 = 11
12 x 9 + 3 = 111
123 x 9 + 4 = 1111
1234 x 9 + 5 = 11111
12345 x 9 + 6 = 111111
123456 x 9 + 7 = 1111111
1234567 x 9 + 8 = 11111111
12345678 x 9 + 9 = 111111111
123456789 x 9 +10= 1111111111

9 x 9 + 7 = 88
98 x 9 + 6 = 888
987 x 9 + 5 = 8888
9876 x 9 + 4 = 88888
98765 x 9 + 3 = 888888
987654 x 9 + 2 = 8888888
9876543 x 9 + 1 = 88888888
98765432 x 9 + 0 = 888888888

Brilliant, isn't it?

And look at this symmetry:

1 x 1 = 1
11 x 11 = 121
111 x 111 = 12321
1111 x 1111 = 1234321
11111 x 11111 = 123454321
111111 x 111111 = 12345654321
1111111 x 1111111 = 1234567654321
11111111 x 11111111 = 123456787654321
111111111 x 111111111=123456789 87654321

Saturday, August 4, 2007

Piece of Cake

Sometimes, dont we wonder "What did I do to "Why did God have to do this to me".
Here is a God sent explnation!!!
A little boy is telling his Grandma how evrything is going wrong.
School, family problems, severe health problems, etc.
Meanwhile, Grandma is baking a cake. She asks her grandson if he would like a snack, which, of course, he does.
"Here, have some cooking oil."
"Yuck says the boy.
"How about a couple raw eggs?"
"Gross, Grandma!"
"Would you like some flour then? Or maybe baking soda?"
"Grandma, those are all yucky!"
To which Grandma replies: "Yes, all those things seem bad all by themselves. But when they are put together in the right way, the make a wonderfully delicious cake!
God works the same way. Many times we wonder why He would let us go through such bad and difficult times.
But God knows that when He puts these things all in HIs order, they always work for good! We just have to trust Him and, eventually, they will all make something wonderful!
God is crazy about you. He sends you flowers every spring and a sunrise evry morning. Whenever you want to talk, He'll listen. He can live anywhere in the universe, and He chose your heart.

Brands that built India

Started in 1897 as a locks manufacturing company, the Godrej Group is currently one of the most accomplished and diversified business houses in India . The Godrej brand straddles across various products, including locks, cupboards, refrigerators, hair dye, edible oil and soaps. In 1930, Godrej became the first company in the world to develop the technology to manufacture soap using vegetable oils.

The Tata brand represents assurance, reliability, a sense of nationalism (and) value for money, irrespective of the product, whether it is a wrist watch, tea, salt, a piece of software or a car. The Tata Group was established by Jamsetji Tata in the second half of the 19th century. Top brands from the Tata stable include Indica, Tanishq, Titan, Voltas and Tetley.

The Bajaj brand is well-known in over a dozen countries in Europe, Latin America, the US and Asia . Founded in 1926, at the height of India 's movement for independence from the British, the group has an illustrious history. Jamnalal Bajaj, founder of the group, was a close confidant and disciple of Mahatma Gandhi. In fact, Gandhiji had adopted him as his son.

The name TVS is synonymous with automobiles. The TVS Group is the largest industrial group in South India . Originating as a transport company in 1911, it now comprises over 35 companies that operate in diverse fields such as automotive component manufacturing, automotive dealerships and electronics.

The Wadias' first venture, over 250 years ago, was in the area of ship-building, more than 355 ships were designed and built by the Wadias, including men-of-war for the British Navy. In 1879, Nowrosjee Wadia set his sights on India 's mushrooming textile industry. The Bombay Dyeing & Manufacturing Co Ltd was born on August 23, 1879. More than a company, a legacy was born.

Hindustan Lever Ltd, now Hindustan Unilever Ltd, has famous brands like Pears, Lux and Vim to its portfolio. Vanaspati was launched in 1918 and the famous Dalda brand came to the market in 1937. In 1931, Unilever set up its first Indian subsidiary, Hindustan Vanaspati Manufacturing Company, followed by Lever Brothers India Limited (1933) and United Traders Limited (1935). These three companies merged to form HLL in November 1956.

Cadbury began its operations in 1948 by importing chocolates and then re-packing them before distribution in the Indian market. Some of the key brands are Dairy Milk, 5 Star, Perk, Éclairs and Celebrations. Cadbury enjoys a value market share of over 70%. Since 1965 Cadbury has also pioneered the development of cocoa cultivation in India .

The TTK Group was started in 1928 by T. T. Krishnamachari, and is still largely owned by the family. The TTK Group has been associated with several brands, which are now household names in the country, such as Prestige Pressure Cookers, Woodward's Gripe Water, Kohinoor, Brylcreem and Kiwi Shoe polishes.

The Kirloskar group launched its first iron plough, pump and engine; inventions that were devised from the need of the hour and went on to become signs of the time. The Kirloskar story starts with Laxmanrao Kirloskar, the founder. A highlight of the early history of the group is Kirloskarvadi , India 's first industrial township.

ITC was incorporated on August 24, 1910 under the name of 'Imperial Tobacco Company of India Limited'. ITC has a diversified presence in cigarettes, hotels, paperboards & specialty papers, packaging, agri-business, packaged foods & confectionery, information technology, branded apparel and greeting cards. The company's ownership progressively Indianised, and the name of the company was changed to I.T.C. Limited in 1974.

Cadila was founded in 1952. The dawn of 50s ushered in an era of awakening. Having broken free from the bondage of dormant history, a need arose for the country to be self-sufficient in all spheres. With the entire nation gearing up to make India self reliant, Ramanbhai B. Patel, founder, turned an entrepreneur, determined to contribute his share by setting up a pharmaceutical company.

Murugappa Group has its origins in 1900, when Dewan Bahadur A M Murugappa Chettiar established a money-lending and banking business in Burma . The Murugappa Group strategically moved its assets back to India and restarted from scratch in the 1930s. Starting with a sandpaper plant, the Group forayed into making steel safes, and then into manufacturing. It set up an insurance company, and bought a rubber plantation.

Indian Oil Corporation Ltd was born on September 1, 1964 with the merger of Indian Refineries Ltd. with Indian Oil Company Ltd. IOC top brands include Servo lubricants and Indane LPG -- used in 40 million homes as cooking fuel and commands over 48% market share in the country. Indian Oil Corporation is now a Fortune 500 company.

Ambassador was the first car to be manufactured in India . Amby has been ruling the Indian roads ever since its inception in 1948. Originally based on Morris Oxford (United Kingdom, 1948), the Ambassador has been undergoing a series of changes, adapting to customer expectations. Amby largely remains the "official" car of India , ferrying babus and netas alike. Ambassador, the only automobile to ply Indian roads for more than five decades now, has carved a special niche for itself in the passenger car segment..

Saturday, July 14, 2007

FUNNIEE

YOU'RE NEXT
When I was younger I hated going to weddings. It seemed that all of my aunts and the grandmotherly types used to come up to me, poking me in the ribs and cackling, telling me, 'You're next.'They stopped that shit after I started doing the same thing to them at funerals

PHONE BOOK
Once, a blonde went to the library to get a book. A few days later, she returns and says to librarian at the counter, "This book was very boring. It had too many characters and too many numbers, so i would like to return it." The librarian says to the other librarian, "So here is the person who took our phone book!"

Coming Home Late
A woman was complaining to her neighbor that her husband always came home late, no matter how she tried to stop him. "Take my advice," said the neighbor, "and do what I did. Once my husband came home at three o'clock in the morning, and from my bed I called out, 'Is that you, Jim?' That sure cured him." "Cured him!" asked the woman, "but how?" "His name is Bill," said the neighbor

FORTUNE TELLER
A man was wandering around a fairground and he happened to see a fortune teller's tent. Thinking it would be good for a laugh; he went inside and sat down. "Ah...," said the woman as she gazed into her crystal ball. "I see you are the father of two children.""That's what you think," said the man scornfully. "I'm the father of THREE children." The woman grinned and said, "That's what YOU think."

CORPORATE BOSS
A man goes into a pet shop to buy a parrot. The shop owner points to three identical looking parrots on a perch and says, "The parrot on the left costs 500 dollars". "Why does the parrot cost so much," asks the man. The shop owner says, "Well, the parrot knows how to use a computer".The man then asks about the next parrot to be told that this one costs 1,000 dollars because it can do everything the other parrot can do plus it knows how to use the UNIX operating system.Naturally, the increasingly startled man asks about the third parrot to be told that it costs 2,000 dollars. Needless to say this begs the question, "What can it do?" To which the shop owner replies, "To be honest I have never seen it do a thing, but the other two calls him boss!"

21st Century Daughters !!!!

A father passing by his teenage daughter's bedroom was astonished to see the bed was nicely made and everything was neat and tidy.Then he saw an envelope propped up prominently on the centre of the pillow.It was addressed "Dad".With the worst premonition,he opened the envelope and read the letter with trembling hands:-



"Dear Dad,It is with great regret and sorrow that I'm writing you,but I'm leaving home.I had to elope with my new boyfriend Randy because I wanted to avoid a scene with Mom and you.I've been finding real passion with Randy & he is so nice to me.I know when you meet him you'll like him too - even with all his piercing,tattoos,& motorcycle clothes.But it's not only the passion Dad,I'm pregnant & Randy said that he wants me to have the kid and that we can be very happy together.Even though Randy is much older than me(anyway, 42 isn't so old these days is it?), and has no money,really these things shouldn't stand in the way of our relationship,don't you agree? Randy has a great CD collection;he already owns a trailer in the woods & has a stack of firewood for the whole winter.It's true he has other girlfriends as well but I know he'll be faithful to me in his own way. Randy taught me that marijuana doesn't really hurt anyone & he'll be growing it for us & we'll trade it with our friends for all the cocaine & ecstasy we want.In the meantime,we'll pray that science will find a cure for AIDS so Randy can get better;he sure deserves it!!Don't worry Dad,I'm 15 years old now & I know how to take care of myself.Someday I'm sure we'll be back to visit so you can get to know your grandchildren.


Your loving daughter, Rosie. "


At the bottom of the page were the letters "PTO".Hands stilltrembling,her father turned the sheet,and read:PS:Dad, none of the above is true.I'm over at the neighbour's house. I just wanted to remind you that there are worse things in life than my report card that's in my desk centre drawer.Please sign it & call when it is safe 4 me 2 cum home.

Women...what are they !!!!!!

The Silent Treatment
A man and his wife were having some problems at home and were givingeach other the silent treatment. Suddenly, the man realized that thenext day, he would need his wife to wake him at 5:00 AM for an earlymorning business flight.Not wanting to be the first to break the silence (and LOSE), he wroteon a piece of paper, "Please wake me at 5:00 AM " He left it where heknew she would find it.The next morning, the man woke up, only to discover it was 9:00 AM andhe had missed his flight. Furious, he was about to go and see why hiswife hadn't wakened him, when he noticed a piece of paper by the bed.The paper said, "It is 5:00 AM. Wake up."Men are not equipped for these kinds of contests.


WIFE VS. HUSBAND
A couple drove down a country road for several miles, not saying a word.An earlier discussion had led to an argument and neither of them wantedto concede their position.As they passed a barnyard of mules, goats, and pigs, the husband askedsarcastically, "Relatives of yours?""Yep," the wife replied , "in-laws.


WOMEN'S REVENGE
"Cash, check or charge?" I asked, after folding items the woman wishedto purchase.As she fumbled for her wallet I noticed a remote control for atelevision set in her purse."So, do you always carry your TV remote?" I asked."No," she replied, " but myhusband refused to come shopping with me, and I figured this was themost evil thing I could do to him legally."


UNDERSTANDING WOMEN (A MAN'S PERSPECTIVE)
I know I'm not going to understand women.I'll never understand how you can take boiling hot wax, pour it ontoyour upper thigh, rip the hair out by the root, and still be afraid ofa spider.


W O R D S
A husband read an article to his wife about how many words women use aday...30,000 to a man's 15,000.The wife replied, "The reason has to be because we have to repeateverything to men...The husband then turned to his wife and asked, "What?"

CREATION
A man said t o his wife one day, "I don't know how you can be so stupidand so beautiful all at the same time." The wife responded, "Allow me to explain.God made me beautiful so you would be attracted to me; God made mestupid so I would be attracted to you!


WHO DOES WHAT
A man and his wife were having an argument about who should brew thecoffee each morning.The wife said, "You should do it, because you get up first, and then wedon't have to wait as long to get our coffee."The husband said, " You are in charge of cooking around here and youshould do it, because that is your job, and I can just wait for mycoffee."Wife replies, "No, you should do it, and besides, it is in the Biblethat the man should do the coffee."Husband replies, "I can't believe that, show me."So she fetched the Bible, and opened the New Testament and showed himat the top of several pages, that it indeed says.........."HEBREWS"
God may have created man before woman,but there isalways a rough draft before the masterpiece.

UN Survey Truths !!!

A worldwide survey was conducted by the UN.The only question asked was:"Would you please give your honest opinion about solutions to the shortage of food in rest of the world".The survey was a huge failure........ Do you know WHY? * In Africa they didn't know what 'food' meant.* In India they didn't know what 'honest' meant. * In Europe they didn't know what 'shortage' meant.* In China they didn't know what 'opinion' meant.* In the Middle East they didn't know what 'solution' meant. * In South America they didn't know what 'please' meant.* And in the USA they didn't know what 'the rest of the world' meant.

Taglines - marketing heights !!!

# Seen on a famous beauty parlor in Bombay:
Don't whistle at the girl going out from here.She may be your grandmother!

Employee over phone to the Manager

A man joined a big Multi National Company as a trainee.....
On his first day, he dialed the kitchen and shouted into the phone:"Get me a cup of coffee, quickly!"
The voice from the other side responded: "You fool; you've dialed the wrong extension! Do you know who you're talking to?"
"No" replied the trainee.
"It's the Managing Director of the company, you idiot!"
The trainee shouted back: "And do you know who YOU are talking to,you IDIOT?"
"No!" replied the Managing Director angrily.
"Thank God!" replied the trainee and put down the phone...