Women...what are they !!!!!!

The Silent Treatment
A man and his wife were having some problems at home and were givingeach other the silent treatment. Suddenly, the man realized that thenext day, he would need his wife to wake him at 5:00 AM for an earlymorning business flight.Not wanting to be the first to break the silence (and LOSE), he wroteon a piece of paper, "Please wake me at 5:00 AM " He left it where heknew she would find it.The next morning, the man woke up, only to discover it was 9:00 AM andhe had missed his flight. Furious, he was about to go and see why hiswife hadn't wakened him, when he noticed a piece of paper by the bed.The paper said, "It is 5:00 AM. Wake up."Men are not equipped for these kinds of contests.

WIFE VS. HUSBAND
A couple drove down a country road for several miles, not saying a word.An earlier discussion had led to an argument and neither of them wantedto concede their position.As they passed a barnyard of mules, goats, and pigs, the husband askedsarcastically, "Relatives of yours?""Yep," the wife replied , "in-laws.

WOMEN'S REVENGE
"Cash, check or charge?" I asked, after folding items the woman wishedto purchase.As she fumbled for her wallet I noticed a remote control for atelevision set in her purse."So, do you always carry your TV remote?" I asked."No," she replied, " but myhusband refused to come shopping with me, and I figured this was themost evil thing I could do to him legally."

UNDERSTANDING WOMEN (A MAN'S PERSPECTIVE)
I know I'm not going to understand women.I'll never understand how you can take boiling hot wax, pour it ontoyour upper thigh, rip the hair out by the root, and still be afraid ofa spider.

W O R D S
A husband read an article to his wife about how many words women use aday...30,000 to a man's 15,000.The wife replied, "The reason has to be because we have to repeateverything to men...The husband then turned to his wife and asked, "What?"

CREATION
A man said t o his wife one day, "I don't know how you can be so stupidand so beautiful all at the same time." The wife responded, "Allow me to explain.God made me beautiful so you would be attracted to me; God made mestupid so I would be attracted to you!

WHO DOES WHAT
A man and his wife were having an argument about who should brew thecoffee each morning.The wife said, "You should do it, because you get up first, and then wedon't have to wait as long to get our coffee."The husband said, " You are in charge of cooking around here and youshould do it, because that is your job, and I can just wait for mycoffee."Wife replies, "No, you should do it, and besides, it is in the Biblethat the man should do the coffee."Husband replies, "I can't believe that, show me."So she fetched the Bible, and opened the New Testament and showed himat the top of several pages, that it indeed says.........."HEBREWS"
God may have created man before woman,but there isalways a rough draft before the masterpiece.